Archive for the ‘pregnancy’ Category

Life and Writing

Now that things are settling down, I’m hoping that I can get back to blogging again. I do know that it probably won’t be an everyday thing for a little while… because I certainly have some distractions that are stopping me from being able to commit to sitting down every day and formulate a coherent blog xD but, things are finally calming to the point that I feel like I can post one or two times a week again without fail.

I have to say that life with a newborn and still trying to write is challenging, to say the least. Hell, life with a newborn and trying to do things like eat regularly and get showers when I want is a challenging thing. Still, I’m managing to do those things (mostly)… so I think I can do this, too!

Things have been so strange and different! I do want to thank all of you for the congrats on the baby ❤ I’m sorry that I couldn’t get back to them sooner… hectic. Things are hectic when you’re a breast feeding mother; all that the kiddo wants to do is be on my chest. Most of the time, when I finally get him settled down to nap, if I get time to go to the computer (I’m usually scrambling to do laundry, eat, clean while he’s down), he’ll manage to wake up because he can sense that I’m wanting to be a little creative.

It’s just how he do. I’m not upset about it – I actually expected myself to need a month or two to adjust to everything. Hell, I expected to need to take a month or two to just heal up and want to be doing things. Thankfully, I felt pretty good the day after I had the baby, so I’m not having to worry about that. I just have to worry about the fact that I need to figure out a new writing routine… and that’s what this is all about, really. I am going to figure out a new writing routine. I know things are going to be a little easier when I get a mobywrap, because I’m going to be able to wear my little monster. He’s a mama’s baby, so he will be a lot happier on my chest. But, I’m going to figure it out. I am determined, and it makes me excited that I’m determined. My writing mojo kinda disappeared for a while during my pregnancy, but it’s come back in full swing.

It’s just a matter of figuring out where it fits into my new life. I know things are different, but just because things in your life change, that doesn’t mean that you have to change your passions.

You just have to figure out how to adjust.

I know for now I’m probably not going to be doing any in depth work on my novels, as much as I’d like to. For now, I’m probably going to work on fics when I can and try to get some writing prompts done. I’ll be doing RP replies. It will help me get back into the proper swing of writing, without being a novel that I’m just gonna have to tear apart again if I end up doing something poorly because I was stressing myself into doing my novel.

I do think that by November, I will have things figured out enough that I’m going to be able to participate in NaNoWriMo. I’m excited about it, even though I’m not sure what I’m going to work on. I had hoped that I would have finished my two novels that I’m wanting to option for actual publishing so that I could work on their sequels…

I don’t know that I’m going to be that figured out… but that’s the point. I’m going to take it day by day, until I figure out how to get my writing into my schedule again.

I’m going to take it day by day and remember that we need to always make time for ourselves and for our passions, no matter what is going on in our lives. I want to teach my little sweet miracle baby that it is always important to pursue your dreams, even when things get hard. I’m not going to fold now and let him be the excuse for me to not be a good role model. No, I want to teach him that dreams are always worth striving for, and passions are what make us burn on the inside.

So, hopefully, when I write my next blog, it will be with an update of the things that I’ve gotten done!

Until then, though! Keep on keeping on! Keep on writing, and I hope that you’re all doing fantastic!

Author Amanda McCormick

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20139769_10212479448755060_5040169976405401405_nHey guys, sorry I’ve been away for a while… but as you can tell by the picture ❤ There was a reason! Elijah Axton was born on July 13th, 2017 at 5:41 am. He weighed 7 pounds, 3 ounces and was 20 inches long.

He’s a pretty precious little boy, even though he made me wait quite a few extra days to meet him. (His Due Date was July 7th!) However… let me tell you, I think that he was just saving his delivery for when it could come in a bang… and I’m going to use this blog to tell you guys about that experience!

Buckle up and get ready xD there will be some graphic descriptions. If you aren’t in the mood to hear a labor story (which I’m blogging about for my own rememberance just as much as to share the experience) I understand you skipping this one ❤

So, on the morning of July 13th, I woke up with some cramps. My doctor had scheduled me for induction a few days after… and she didn’t seem very hopeful that anything was going to get moving on its own. I knew for a fact that you could have cramps and what not for days before actually delivering, so I didn’t think too much about it. They came on and off throughout the day, but they weren’t anything that caused me any alarm. It was just like… uncomfortable cramping that came and went.

As the day went on, they did get a little closer. I phoned Labor and Delivery and asked them when I should be concerned xD And here is where the story gets a little interesting. They told me that I shouldn’t come in until the contractions were strong enough that I couldn’t speak through them. I shrugged it off and didn’t think anything else of it – it was their mistake, but I should have taken into account my pain tolerance as well.

Fast forward to that night – I am in (what I didn’t realize) far more active labor… and playing League of Legends with my hubby and friends to distract myself. The contractions are hurting a little more, but kicking ass on ARAM is making me pretty delighted. Josh finally went to bed, and I continued to deal with what was going on with my body. The weird thing was, I wasn’t feeling the contractions in my stomach – it was just making my thighs cramp. I did squats, stretched, and took showers to alleviate the irritation… but I didn’t call to see if I could go in, because I was still managing them just fine. I could still talk. I could walk.

No big deal, right?

Finally, around 4something, I called L&D again. I could still talk through the contractions, but it had spread from my thighs to my back as well. I was uncomfortable enough that I was thinking of going to the hospital to get a bit of the pain medication so I could sleep before I did go into labor. (I had full intentions of going all natural without an epidural, but I was okay with getting some IV painkillers if I hadn’t slept for over 24 hours – which I hadn’t.)

They tell me I can go ahead and come in if that’s what I want, so we get ready and drive to the hospital. I walk from the parking lot to to the hospital without help, and it’s only Josh insisting that gets me into a wheel chair. By this point, the contractions have randomly amped up to happening every 3 minutes or so, and I’m actually starting to feel pretty uncomfortable. It’s about 5:20 when we get there. I get to triage and they tell me I’m 5cm dilated, so it could take a while before anything happens… and with this pain in my thighs happeing ever 2-3 minutes and me only being half way there, I go ahead and sign a paper to get an epidural. I’ve heard multiple times that the worst thing you can do is be exhausted when you’re actually in the pushing phase of labor, and I’d rather my baby be healthy than to follow some birth plan. I sign the papers, I’m answering questions… and they wheel me into the actual labor room.

They’re asking me more questions, but I’m starting to get extremely irritated that they’re trying to make me calmly answer things while I’m in pain… and as soon as I get put onto my bed, my water breaks.

Now, I’ve read a million stories about people’s water breaking… but I’ve never heard of it hurting. Mine hurt. Mine hurt enough that my husband left the room to tell the nurses that I was in pain – they come back and tell me how good it is that my water broke, and then lean to check on me…

And immediately widen their eyes, because there’s a baby ready to come out. They had to double check, but sure enough, Elijah decided to come right then and there – clearly their 5cm guess (which was done incorrectly because of my water not being broken and making it hard for them to measure) was wrong. They barely had time to call the doctor into the room – they didn’t  have time to properly put an IV in my hand.

I pushed four or five times, and my little baby was born into this world. There was no epidural, no pain relief… and I have to say that it wasn’t actually that bad. I was more in shock than anything, because I went from having quite a bit of time to wait to it suddenly happening then and there. Pushing hurt less than the leg cramps, and it was kind of a relief, because I stopped feeling them as soon as I started pushing – I did still feel pushing though, and I can’t say that it was painless.

But God, seeing his little face for the first time made me completely forget about any pain that I had. So, after arriving twenty minutes earlier, the baby was out. I had multiple nurses who were just stunned at how quickly things had happened, and I have to admit that I was still shocked myself. But… things were good. Elijah was perfect ❤

By the time that I was ready to move to recovery (a few hours later) I was actually good to walk. I felt great ❤ I don’t know if it was the quick labor, the fact that I got to labor at home in a stress-free environment, the lack of epidural… but I was doing wonderfully.

I super recommend laboring at home for as long as you can. I super do not recommend laboring at home for so long that you barely make it to your hospital bed. They told me if I get pregnant again I should probably come into the hospital a bit earlier, because I’m apparently prone to very quick labor xD

Elijah is 7 days old now, and he’s a beautiful little thing. I’m hoping that as things calm and settle, I can get back into the routine of blogging and writing again! But, that’s all for this one. I just wanted to share an amazing story with you guys ❤ I will hopefully be back soon for another post!

Oh! And for those who are curious, I hit my 10k Camp NaNo goal, so I won. Yay xD

Until next time, guys! Let me know about your Camp NaNo plans!

Author Amanda McCormick

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My true love gave to meeeee…

Just kidding, I won’t blast you all with my singing. That could be cruel. Still, it is the first day of Camp NaNoWriMo… and I find that I’m not completely sure what I’m doing. I’m due to have a baby in 6 days… and I’m a bit daunted by the fact that I signed up at all. Still, I haven’t missed a Camp yet, and I certainly don’t want to miss one now. I’ve really been missing writing… so I figured that Camp this year could be a free for all. I’m going to count all of my writing towards my meager 5,000 word goal, because it’s more about getting the flow going again, in opposition to getting a certain bit of work done.

That being said, the 5,000 word goal is still really high up there for me when I can’t figure out what I want to write. I had a thought of going back to my very, very old profile and picking out the most popular fic that I have on there (whatever that might be) and rewriting it with minimal plot change. Just basically getting it out there and redone in my new writing style for a little bit of fun… but — and maybe it’s the hormones talking — I don’t want to go back and read my writing from when I was a teenager right now. Hell, I have trouble going back and reading my writing from five minutes ago without laying down a harsh judgment hammer on myself.

So… I’m contemplating what to do instead. I’m thinking I might get some more prompts out there – those always seem to inspire something when I start them (see: My inability to write a short story without it somehow spiraling into a novel). I also thought that I’d tackle some chapters of the fanfics that I have on my A03 account because I’ve been dreadful about ignoring them for months now.

I don’t know. I just know that things are pretty crazy right now, and there is certainly a lot going on in my mind…. but that doesn’t mean that I’m going to stop writing. I’ve been lax on it, and it’s honestly getting to me. I feel better when I’m writing every day, and I feel more clear and relaxed. I’ve let that slide, because I’ve been mainly sleeping and resting up… but I want to get ready, to get started. I want to get back into it, because I can feel it in my mind and damn near on my soul that I haven’t been creative lately. I’ve been… er… creating instead. You know.

A baby.

But… I’m pretty much finished with doing that, and I want to get back to my writing. Hell, I want to get back to my writing from my baby, so I can show him that we should always strive for our dreams and passion.

So, Camp NaNo, I’m still gonna getcha, baby or not. Here I come.

Until next time, guys! Let me know about your Camp NaNo plans!

Author Amanda McCormick

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So… the July Camp NaNo that may or may not be won… that’s what I’m calling this particular Camp. You see, the thing is… I’m due to have my little baby July 7th >_> The fact is, I don’t know how much writing I’m going to be able to get done in the month of July…

But that’s exactly why I signed up for Camp. I sat my goal relatively low, and I want to see if I can hit it. I very much want to try to push myself to still get writing done, even when things are so chaotic. I’ve just gotten settled into my new writing environment where I can actually sit and write again. I’m really, really ready to get back onto a schedule.

It’s just going to be a matter of figuring out that new schedule once the baby gets here!

I am definitely going to take you guys on a strange journey of trying to figure out how to write while I have a newborn, but I figure that Camp is a great dry run for actual NaNo. My goal is to be able to still win in November.

I think I can do it ❤

Until next time, guys! Let me know about your Camp NaNo plans!

Author Amanda McCormick

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Life and Writing

Hello! So, that thing that I’ve been talking about forever (not the baby thing xD yet) has finally happened. I’ve moved, and I have to say that I’m really pleased with it. There is, of course, still a lot to do. We have to get the rest of our stuff (It seems like there is always more stuff to get, eh?) and we need to clean the old house a bit… but our room, our new little home base? It’s set up.

And honestly, I’m really happy. I’ll go ahead and give you a little tour of my general writing area – if you guys want, I can give a better tour in a different blog post. I’m pretty pleased with my setup though.

So, if you check it out… above is my writing desk. I have my screens up, my M&M’s ready, my Fallout, Borderlands and DBZ (and copious pandas) all set up… and it feels really great. If you check it out, right beside my writing desk is the baby’s area! I thought that it would be best to set it up right by where I’d be most of the time so that I can still (hopefully) get a lot of writing done after little Elijah arrives. ❤ He has an adorable little nautical theme, which I am loving so much. He will be within arms reach whenever I need to get to him!

If you direct your eyeballs to the third picture, that’s the view from right beside my desk. It’s a little cloudy today, but living on a lake with a gorgeous deck that I can walk out to… it’s nice. It’s writing with a beautiful view, which is something that I find to be pretty important and helpful when it comes to getting things done.

So, that’s my tiny little tour there. Like I said before, if you want a more in-depth one I will be happy to provide. But… I’m really happy. I feel so peaceful here, and even though there’s still quite a bit to get done before we’re completely done with the whole moving process. We can take it at a nice walk now, instead of running.

And finally… finally… I feel like my writing mojo is coming back. I’m going to dive back into it as best I can, and I’m more excited for that than I thought I would be. It has been stressful to not get writing done; it really does physically and emotionally strain me not to get words out. I’m hoping that I can get back into a pattern of daily writing. I don’t have a solid plan of exactly what I’m going to do – I think some writing prompts, some RP responses, and I’m going to start looking over my novels again. I’m also wanting to get my fanfics going again since they’re a lot of fun to leisurely work on.  All and all though, everything looks bright and it feels good again.

That, my friends, is worth quite a bit!

Anyway, that’s all for this post. Hopefully, I will get back to posting multiple times a week on here as well! I truly miss getting to communicate and interact with all of you!

So, until next time! Keep read and writing, and keep being the awesome people that you are!

Author Amanda McCormick

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Life and Writing

Hey, everyone! Sorry it’s been a bit since my last update (I feel like I’ve been saying that a lot lately), but I’m still trying to make sure I poke my head in here to let you all know that I’m still alive.

I’ve just been ridiculously busy!

We’re setting up the new place to get moved in, which requires new carpet, paint, curtains, a ton of cleaning, etc. Doing that when I’m on my 8th month of pregnancy is pretty crazy… but it’s going to be worth it. The room is coming together, and we should be moved in by the coming up weekend. That means (fingers crossed) that I will be around a lot more to get writing/updates done. I think I’m gonna dive back in by doing a week of writing prompts, so I’m hoping that some of you guys can join me!

Other than that, things have been pretty slow as far as writing goes. I’ve been prodding at it a little, but a lot of my time and energy is spent either doing the moving thing or sleeping (this baby apparently loves making me lay down.) The weird thing is, my insomnia hasn’t gone away…. but I still need to get like at least 6 hours of sleep to even think of functioning. I end up laying in bed for hours and hours and hours just to attain that. Once we’re moved, I’m going to have my desktop setup in my bedroom… so it’s going to be a lot easier for me to use that insomnia for writing fuel.

I’m honestly very excited, and I’ve been missing blogging. My goal is to get both Limbo and Cerulean Darkness finished and edited before the year is out. It’s gonna be crazy, what with a newborn around… but I’m going to stick to it. The thing is… I have to keep setting these goals. With Elijah coming, it’s even more important that I achieve them, because I want to show him that you can fill your dreams as long as you push hard enough and don’t give up.

I may end up going back to doing some commission writing as well. I’m not sure. Things are certainly changing… but I’m excited for it!

So, until next time! Keep read and writing, and keep being the awesome people that you are!

Author Amanda McCormick

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Monthly Wrap Up

(Warning, I’m having typo brain today xD)

Hey, I at least hopped onto here to get my monthly update out! Though, in all honesty… I should be getting back to normal now that March is rolling around. This month when I said that I would, I forgot that my husband’s sister was visiting. She lives out of the country, so she was here for quite a while… which means that we were distracted for quite a while.

Anyway, as far as the monthly update goes, I haven’t gotten that much writing done. Thankfully, I’ve gotten a bit. It’s mostly been RP replies, and a little bit of this and that… but the point is I was getting some writing in. All told, I only hit about 6,000 words for the month, which is a far cry from my normal 30,000 word goal (28,000 for this month). But, it was something… which makes me feel a little bit better.

As far as everything else, I’m feeling really well now. My morning sickness is all but gone – I’m actually starting to get a little bit bigger xD So I’m assuming that I will eventually get uncomfortable from that.


As a fun little thing, here’s a picture of my baby. We went for a gender/health scan and found out he’s a perfectly healthy baby boy.

Anyway, I’m hoping I’ll get back to regular posting in March.

Until next time, you guys! Keep reading and writing, and keep being amazing!
Author Amanda McCormick

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Life and Writing

Oh dear… I really am going to figure out how to get my writing consistent again someday. I do have to say, the break that I took is solid proof about everything that I’ve been saying – it takes weeks, months even to properly establish a habit. It only takes skipping it for a few days to unlearn all of the things that you’ve taught yourself. I intended to start fresh yesterday, but I was exhausted.

Baby makes me exhausted. So I didn’t.

But I’m starting today. I don’t know if I’ll immediately jump into daily blogs, but I’m going to try. More importantly, though, I am going to get back into writing every day. Just gotta take a deep breath and dive back into it, right? I have to push aside the mountain of snacks on my desk to check out how much I wrote last month, and I know it was a completely dismal number.

… and shockingly, I still made my word count. *Blinks* 16,013 words written for the month of January. I boosted my word goal down to 500 words a day… so I was still about one thousand words over. I’m actually not as disappointed in myself as I thought I would be – I’m going to take that lack of disappointment, and I’m going to use it as my fuel to get back into the groove of things again. At least, I’m going to try my damn hardest to. We will see how much I can get written today.

So, other than my little update right there, I wanted to go ahead and let you guys know what blogs you should be expecting! I’m going to get back into my tags, and my writing prompts. I should also have a book review up soon of the new A.G. Howard novel, RoseBlood. I mean, honestly, did you expect me to see a Phantom of the Opera retelling without immediately snatching it up? I needed it – I got it… and I do have to say that so far, it’s been completely amazing.

I also want to get a right and proper baby update blog – clearly, with my lack of writing every day, we can already tell what the topic of choice is going to be for the blog, and how the little one is changing my writing flow… but that will probably come up tomorrow. For now, I will give you a small, brief update. Things seem to be going well – I’m damn near 18 weeks. I have another appointment on Valentine’s Day, so I can let you guys know more about the physical aspect of it then! It’s been truly amazing so far, and I wouldn’t change it for anything. But, as I said, that’s for a full blog… probably tomorrow, maybe the day after. I really need to look at my posting schedule and see if I want to rearrange it.

For now, though, that’s all. I hope you guys are doing amazing, and I’d love to hear life updates for all of you as well!

Until next time, you guys! Keep reading and writing, and keep being amazing!
Author Amanda McCormick

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Life and Writing

As you can all see, I’m not really back on my blogging schedule just yet. However, I am super happy to say that at 1 day shy of the 17 week mark of my pregnancy, my morning (see: all day, all the time, no matter what) sickness has finally dissipated. This blog is just going to be a lot of me musing, thinking, and a general update on me. Hopefully (fingers crossed) I will be able to get back to my blog schedule after this, though I might just do some random blogs until Monday, and then start fresh (I always work better when I do it that way.)

Anyway, onward to the random thoughts.

First of all, I came into this year knowing that I might have a few days where I wouldn’t be able to write. My expectations for myself were still extremely high… but they were high with a little bit of a learning curve for everything I knew was going on with me. I’m sure that a lot of ladies who are pregnant, especially for the first time, are having to figure out everything. For me… figuring everything out came with a one week break from writing. It was the weirdest thing I’ve done in over a year, because I’ve written every day, consistently, for over a year… but this past week has been crazy. My husband has been extremely sick, and I’ve been fighting off the last of my morning sickness. What I haven’t kicked is the exhaustion that comes along with being pregnant. I’ve gone from insomnia to sleeping for 12+ hours a day. It’s so strange. However, it’s seeming to level out… but my body was demanding that I get that rest.

So, I did something that I wasn’t expecting to do… and I listened to my body.

I have to say it was the smartest thing that I could do. I took a week off, and I’m coming back into writing completely refreshed and rejuvenated. I’m going to recommend doing this to everyone – not just to pregnant women, but anyone who is going through something extremely stressful, or who is very sick, etc. Lower your word count – take some days off if you have to… but listen to your body. I know I’m a huge advocate for writing every day, and I still believe that you should.

But every now and then, you have to take a breath. So pick your days wisely, give yourself a time limit, and just know that when you come back, you need to come back strong.

Moving onward, I really… really… really am seeing a direct correlation between the amount of caffeine that I consume and how much I want to write. I miss my giant cups of coffee – they were my writing fuel. I know that a lot of it is probably a habit that I established. I’d wake up – get a big cup of coffee, drink it and write in the morning… and now I can’t do that. It’s spoiled my habit.

I need to make a new habit. It’s the second thing that I’m really discovering in all of this. We can train ourselves to think that certain signals mean that we can or cannot write. You can’t become so dependent on those signals that you can’t write when you don’t have them. I have to learn to write without my big cup of coffee, as much as it pains me. If you can’t have your certain playlist, your certain writing area, your certain writing beverage or snack… you still need to be able to write. We can fight through it together, guys. I believe in us.

Lastly, I’m going to hit on the current… environment of the world, without really getting into my own political opinion. I know that things are hard for a lot of us – unsure, frightening, scary… and I’m just going to leave you all with a bit of advice (I might write an entire post about my thoughts on all of this later, but not now.) But that advice is this: We need our writers now, more than ever. We need our thinkers, we need our people who will give an opinion. We need the people who can offer stories for people to escape into. We need our creative minds now more than ever before. So please, keep on writing ❤ You’re amazing.

Until next time, you guys! Keep reading and writing, and keep being amazing!
Author Amanda McCormick

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Life and Writing

Hey, everyone! So, the day for that explanation that I’ve been talking about has finally come. I was waiting for a particular day, a particular date… and it’s here now, so I’m ready to share. I’m gonna take a small break from writing talk (though not really, cause it has a huge impact on my writing) and talk to you about what’s been going on with me. A warning: if you don’t want to hear about pregnancy/troubles with it/emotions surrounding it, just skip this post and suffice it to say the first trimester of being pregnant is what has put a hold on my writing.

Now, for those who do wanna hear ❤

Just a little bit into November, I had this epiphany – this realization, if you will. I… hadn’t had my period for over a month. I bought a test on the day of my very first write in ever, took it… and spent the entire write in wanting to go home, because it came up positive.

I’m 27, married, I have a wonderful supporting husband and a lovely circle of family and friends. Being pregnant isn’t a bad thing – it’s actually a beautiful, joyous, amazing thing. Josh and I were both really excited, and so we called the doctors and got my dating appointment set up; basically, that’s where they give you an ultrasound to see how far along you are.

At least, that’s what I thought was happening?

I didn’t expect to really see anything. I was maybe six weeks. I wasn’t even sure if I was that, because my period is abnormal. I couldn’t see my normal doctor because she was out of town for a few weeks. I honestly should have taken that as a sign and waited, but they wanted me to come in as soon as possible, so I did.

And I got my scan.

And the doctor couldn’t see anything but the little sac where the baby eventually grows. She smiled, she said it was either I’d gotten my period date wrong (I hadn’t, but the fact that I wasn’t always normal didn’t seem to register to her?) or there was something wrong and it wasn’t a viable pregnancy. She signed me up for some blood tests and sent me on my way without any type of comfort, or anything like that. “I’ve seen it go both ways, so…”

That was it.

I was a little shocked, to say the least… but I took a deep breath and went home. I did something that I haven’t done in a loonnnnnngggg time. I prayed.

Let’s backtrack a little – I’m not really a religious person. I believe that there’s something out there, but I am a firm believer that people are way too good at screwing up for me to let a person define it for me. My childhood experiences with religion (in a very southern kinda Kentucky) had kinda soured me on it… so it wasn’t something that I was really into. I’m of the mind that there is something, but people aren’t capable of understanding it. Through this experience I’ve learned that you can have faith without it being the definition of an organized religion – I can still have my values and beliefs that we can’t understand the actuality of a higher power… but I can still believe in it, and that’s pretty amazing for me. And honestly, it made all of the difference in this situation.

Okay, anyway, I prayed. And I got just… the most peaceful feeling. It was weird, but I felt better about it. So, I went to my blood tests, and I had taken two of them and was on the way to my third when my doctor sent me an email.

I think that this is probably a miscarriage. Your numbers aren’t exactly where they should be.” She basically told me that it was her professional opinion that my baby was dead, but to go ahead and take my third test.

I’d done it by then, and I was so damn devastated. I ignored that feeling of peace – shame on me – and I cried.

I cried a lot, until my husband came home… and he told me that I couldn’t do that. That I had to think positive. That I had to be positive. And almost like everything was aligning, I get another email.

Your numbers still aren’t where I want them to be, but they have raised. Come in for another scan and we’ll see what’s happening.”

I was so elated. She basically removed the death sentence that she’d put on my little baby and gave me hope… and that was when I realized something. Prayer and positive thought are really powerful things. They really make a difference, and that feeling of peace that I felt initially was something that I should have trusted. Faith is something that I hadn’t felt in a long time, but I felt it then.

So, we went back to the doctor, and I had positive thoughts. I flooded myself with positive thoughts. And I prayed, and I said “You show her, baby, you show her the strongest little heartbeat that she’s ever seen. You prove her wrong.”

We went to the doctor… and… there it was. A strong heartbeat. My baby. It was there, and it was healthy and perfect… and she looked up at me and said, “Oh, wow. I can tell you congratulations now.” She was glad that she was wrong, but she wasn’t sorry that she’d been so harsh. I kind of had to take a step back and realize that sometimes it is really all about having the right doctor.

So… she completely removed that death sentence, and the entire month of November that was basically uncertain Hell for me suddenly got better. And I kept up with those positive thoughts and that prayer, because I realized how important it is. I realized that miracles really can happen, and that things that seem hopeless can be okay. I know there are other people who are in the position that I was in, and I want them especially to know that things can be okay, and that giving up hope is the last thing you should do. Just hold on, stay strong, and keep your positive thoughts and prayer going into the Universe ❤

I went to my next scan (with my actual doctor)… and things were perfect again. Little tiny flailing limbs that would someday be arms and legs. Strong heartbeat. Perfect baby.

I gave another huge splash of prayer and positive thought, and moved on to the last scan that I had on the 5th. And it was life changing.


My kiddo had gone from a little bean to a little person. It had developed arms and legs and eyes and years and a nose… it had a perfect little profile, and I have to say that I’ve never felt more in love. I’d crossed that really unpredictable time – the first trimester – and I’d made it to the second, when things get less scary for losing the baby.

So, that’s where I am at. The last three months have been a roller coaster, and one that I couldn’t have gotten through without finding a little faith again, without a lot of positive thoughts, and without the best support system that a girl could ask for.

I’m probably going to post one a week with an update on this – how pregnancy is changing my writing, how things are going… because I think that a lot of writers are also Moms, and I know I’d be interested in reading it.

But that’s my little update, and my reasoning behind why things have been so crazy. Thank you so much to the people who were supportive during this time, and thank you so much to all of you for being patient while I wasn’t around ❤

Until next time, you guys! Keep reading and writing, and keep being amazing!
Author Amanda McCormick

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