So, I was going to go to the doctor for my wrist. I really was. I was geared up for it, I’d tried to talk myself into not being so stressed about it (I have major social anxiety in general, and doing official things just makes it worse)… and then we celebrated the 4th yesterday.
It was lovely to hang out with friends, there was fantastic food, and I wouldn’t have traded the day for anything. But… I pretty much zapped my entire battery charge. That energy that I’d been saving up to deal with the doctor was gone, and when I woke up this morning to the sound of the alarm clock, I knew that I couldn’t handle going out like that today.
Thankfully, my husband is pretty fantastic. We’re going to reschedule the appointment for later on this week or next week, and I’m pretty happy about that. So, instead of going to the doctor, I get a fairly quiet day at home… I get to write, and play games, and let myself recharge.
And I guess the point of this blog is to say that it’s okay if you need to do that. I’ve struggled with anxiety issues for as long as I can remember – I’m very good at pretending that I don’t have them. If you don’t know me well, you can see me function in social settings, and think that I’m just find and dandy. But if you do know me, you see me drift off to a quiet corner and isolate myself… and you know exactly what I’m doing – I’m trying to take a moment, to get a breath, to have one gulp of air while I’m drowning in a sea of anxiety.
So, if you need to take a day to recharge your battery, do it. Have some time to yourself – read a book, write in solitude, do whatever you need to do to breath and feel like you aren’t drowning.
I suppose this isn’t a writing blog, so much as a pep talk for all of my readers who have social anxiety, who hate crowds, who feel the same way. ❤ You’re just as valid, you’re just as awesome, and there’s nothing wrong with you if you need to take a breath. ❤ Keep on keeping on!
Until later on this afternoon, I’ll have my Camp Update up!
Author Amanda McCormick