Posted in anxiety, Creative WRiting

A Sea of Anxiety

Life and Writing

So, I was going to go to the doctor for my wrist. I really was. I was geared up for it, I’d tried to talk myself into not being so stressed about it (I have major social anxiety in general, and doing official things just makes it worse)… and then we celebrated the 4th yesterday.

It was lovely to hang out with friends, there was fantastic food, and I wouldn’t have traded the day for anything. But… I pretty much zapped my entire battery charge. That energy that I’d been saving up to deal with the doctor was gone, and when I woke up this morning to the sound of the alarm clock, I knew that I couldn’t handle going out like that today.

Thankfully, my husband is pretty fantastic. We’re going to reschedule the appointment for later on this week or next week, and I’m pretty happy about that. So, instead of going to the doctor, I get a fairly quiet day at home… I get to write, and play games, and let myself recharge.

And I guess the point of this blog is to say that it’s okay if you need to do that. I’ve struggled with anxiety issues for as long as I can remember – I’m very good at pretending that I don’t have them. If you don’t know me well, you can see me function in social settings, and think that I’m just find and dandy. But if you do know me, you see me drift off to a quiet corner and isolate myself… and you know exactly what I’m doing – I’m trying to take a moment, to get a breath, to have one gulp of air while I’m drowning in a sea of anxiety.

So, if you need to take a day to recharge your battery, do it. Have some time to yourself – read a book, write in solitude, do whatever you need to do to breath and feel like you aren’t drowning.

I suppose this isn’t a writing blog, so much as a pep talk for all of my readers who have social anxiety, who hate crowds, who feel the same way. ❤ You’re just as valid, you’re just as awesome, and there’s nothing wrong with you if you need to take a breath. ❤ Keep on keeping on!

 

Until later on this afternoon, I’ll have my Camp Update up!

Author Amanda McCormick

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Posted in 1000 words a day, 2000 words a day, am writing, amanda mccormick, anxiety, author amanda mccormick, blogging, Creative WRiting, daily writing, editing, write every day, writer advice, writer pep talk, writer tips, writer tricks, Writing, writing accountability

Starting The New Year! Write, Right?!

So, I’m really pleased with my writing regimen so far. I’ve been consistently pumping out words since November, but my plan for 2016 was to write a minimum of 1,000 words a day. It’s been Friday to Friday, and I’m really pleased to give you guys a report on how I’m doing.

2016-01-08 (2)

So, for anyone who is confused – this is my little spreadsheet that Gau made for me! Basically, I can input my words and keep track of how I’m doing/how much I have left to do. I’ve been working on this in tandem with a desk calendar (which I do not currently have a photo of).

On the desk calendar, I’m writing down what projects I work on that day, and how much I’ve written on them! I’ll have a picture of it next week so that you can all see… but all and all, I’ve surpassed 1k every day, and usually soar easily over 2k. I still have some writing to do today… but it’s been such a pleasing, liberating experience. I can tell the difference in my stress levels just from writing. I’m still doing some fanfiction, but I’m also starting to process through finishing Limbo (my NaNo novel from 2014), while editing my Novel from 2016. I am hoping to incorporate fixed editing dates into my calendar as well… but I’m taking it one step at a time!

I should be able to start blogging more frequently soon. I’ve just been lost in writing (and being ill x.x) this week, so I haven’t been on much! But I’m glad to be doing my update! My best advice to you all is this – keep track of what you’re doing. Keep track of how much you write. Keep track of what you’re working on! It really does help. Having that physically written down so that you can see your accomplishments is a wonderful thing!

 

Thank you all so much, and I’ll see you next post! Until then, keep reading and writing!

Author Amanda McCormick

Twitter | Patreon | NaNo Page

 

Posted in 1000 words a day, am writing, amanda mccormick, anxiety, author amanda mccormick, blogging, Creative WRiting, creative writing, creative writing prompts, daily word prompts, daily writing, depression, fallout 4

2015 in review – Welcome 2016 and New Goals.

So, I’ve kind of laid off of blogging for the last half of December. I wanted to take time to myself, just to really refresh my brain, spend time with family, etc. I can’t deny that this year has been harder on me than I’d thought it would be. I’ve been through quite a bit of loss, quite a bit of stress… but I’ve come out on 2016 kicking. I’d actually been having a lot of writing trouble in the months leading up to November.

When my mother passed away, I thought that it was going to break some delicate agreement between my muse and myself, and that I wasn’t going to be able to write. Instead, my muse wrapped its arms around me and told me not to worry. I’m a writer… and my feelings will come out through my words.

I wrote over 100,000 words for November. I thought that I’d be finished. I thought that I’d be worn out until January. That was my plan. But… I wrote 50,856 words in December. I know. I don’t understand it either. Most of these words were in Fallout 4 Fanfiction (yes, I linked you to my page, lol)… but the point is, it’s there. I wrote, I still feel so compelled to write. My muse hasn’t abandoned me – and though dealing with my sorrow and upset is still hard for me to do, I’m handling it, day by day, word by word.

So, 2015, while a sad year, was also a good year for growing. I have a little report below for my blog stats that my WordPress compiled for me. Before that though, let me just talk about my plans for 2016.

I will write at least 30,000 words every month. I want to write 1,000 words a day. It is my plan. It is my therapy. I will do it. I want to try to blog every day, to do prompts at least every other day (if not every day), and I will do weekly updates on my writing every Monday. I can’t wait. You guys have honestly been amazing. It’s through your support and encouragement that I’ve been able to keep this up – you’re all wonderful, and I’m so thankful for the friends I’ve made along the way!

To 2016! May we all accomplish our goals!

 

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2015 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 2,500 times in 2015. If it were a cable car, it would take about 42 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

Posted in 2000 words a day, anxiety, patreon, stress, traveling, trip, Writing, Writing Advice

The Magical Coffee Panda

magiccoffeepanda

Since I’m writing from my downstairs computer today, I had to have a new mascot. This is my magical coffee panda, who gives me discouraging looks when I drink all of my coffee without having written a single word. Still, it’s always nice to have some kind of mascot, isn’t it?

Honestly though, this blog isn’t about everything that I’ve gotten done, or my  huge plans. The simple truth is, I’ve been taking a little bit of a slow pace. I’ve been trying to get some things done when I can, make sure that I write a little bit every day. My Patreon is staying updated and my Twitter is getting love… but I have some fairly high stress levels and anxiety right now, so I’m trying to make sure that I don’t push myself into writing something and burning myself out.

I think that something important as a writer is to really be familiar with yourself, your mind, your body. You need to know when enough is enough. We live up to these expectations of so many words a day, so much writing a day, write every day… and they’re amazing expectations. They’re fun and wonderful and good for us to have goals… but it’s also important to watch your mental health.

My stress comes from the fact that I’ll be taking my first trip to Kentucky since I left four years ago within the next two weeks. I’m going to go and see my mother (who I’ve told you all about her and the illness issue), and it’s really getting my anxieties up. I haven’t been there in a while, and a lot of the negative things that happened in my life happened there. I am beyond excited to go – to see the people I love… but that stress is still there. It’s still real.

And I’m respecting it.

As a writer, respect your mind, your brain, your emotions. Don’t make excuses – don’t be like, “Oh, well, I had a bad day because I wore purple instead of blue! I can’t write!” That’s silly. But if you’re legitimately going through something, don’t push yourself. Let writing be your outlet when you need it, but don’t force a story that isn’t there.

That’s all the advice that I have for you guys today. I still have quite a few book reviews to get up, more to come, and some more blogs with tips and tricks. If you guys want to see anything specific, let me know in the comments! I love hearing from you!

Until next time, keep reading and writing!

Author Amanda McCormick